I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize