Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
