Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
