i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize