This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize