Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
