Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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