what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
