Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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