Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
