You work out of a Hotel?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
