So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize