So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
