her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
