I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
