Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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