I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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