how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
