ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Someone came in the potted fern
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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