Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
