So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
