y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You pole danced in your parka.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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