I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
