God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i need some magic done to my vagina
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
