i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
