Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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