OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
