We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
