if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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