So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
