so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
