Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
