Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize