Midget sex pt 2 tonight
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
