I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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