So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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