just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My breasts were aching with rage.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
