You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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