my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize