Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
