can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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