no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
