honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
