So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
