So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize