Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
