if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
