NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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