This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
