You're completely useless in the revolution.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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