ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
