STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
