I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
