The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
