literally had 100 drinks last night.
barbara walters just said penis...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
