is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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