Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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