I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You were trust falling into bushes
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
