i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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