the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize