This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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