clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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