he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
