I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
