That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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