Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
