We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
