I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
