Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
